It has been over 2 months since I've written on this blog. It never ceases to amaze me how time just marches on while I'm trying to keep in step!
My life has once again changed in big ways. I've moved yet again. Twice in one year is too much for me I think. This move is harder because I've pretty much been doing all of the work myself. And I am TIRED of the loading, hauling, and unloading of my "stuff".
It causes me to think about my "stuff" and how pitiful it is that I have so much. There are people who have nothing but what is on their backs and their loved ones. We here in the USA have so much. It is just absurd sometimes and it does cause my mind to spin. It causes me to give much thought to what I place my priority in.
Where do I spend my time?
Where do I spend my money?
What do I hold as valuable?
I have paid 67.00 a month to store my "stuff" and was able to live without it for 6 months! I am glad that one of the side effects of being without my stuff is that I am not as attached to it as I once was. Now I am in the midst of sorting through it and truly deciding what I need and what I don't need.
The struggles that I've endured this year has been such a driving force for me to re-evaluate my life. Re-evaluate my faith. I do believe that I have been under the hot refining fire of the Lord's testing. My faith is being refined and the truth of what I believe and trust is coming forth. It is my deep desire that the result of the refining would show pure gold. That I would emerge with a faith that is as pure gold and not ashes that result from the consumption of something that has no substance.
I know that I am closer to the Lord than I was one year ago.
It is a closeness that I am thankful for but still unsure why it had to occur this way.
I think that is probably one common question that believers ask. Why this way Lord? I don't want to ever be so comfortable with my life that I don't want to go where God goes but I will always try to understand why He chooses the road that He does somethimes.
I'm thinking that the answer to that question may never be revealed. It is probably not in my best interest to know. That is okay. I know that God's plan is best, even when it involves pain. I don't understand Him most of the time, but I am learning to trust Him. I try to place my full trust in Him and as of yet, I've not found Him to be unfaithful or untrustworthy.
As 2010 comes to an end, I find myself thinking of how grateful I truly am for the pain of this year. It has brought me closer to my Savior and has prompted a newness in my walk with Him. I hope that 2011 will be a better year but even if it is not, I know that my God will not let me go. He will hold me as long as I am reaching out for Him.