Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Manna for Today

Lately I have been grappling with feeling unimportant and not valued. I have let the words exit my mouth when really they should have stayed in. If I have learned anything over the past 5 years it is that I must rehearse truth to myself and others in order to combat the lies of satan.

I have failed.

No, I rephrase: I have had a setback.

I have fallen from my stable place and slipped back into the pit that menaces that I am unable to change. It is a place where satan lives. It is a place of lowness and darkness and sadness. It is a place where I am most afraid and yet most at home. I don't want to live in that place anymore. I am a conqueror. I have a Saviour who died so that I could be free from death and guilt. He died so that I could be free from the clutches of satan and his demons.
I have dreams in my life that have gone unfulfilled. I am angry, saddened, confused about the fact that they are unrealized dreams. I've entertained the thought that Jesus died for me becasue He had to not because He chose to.

Ridiculous but honest.

I can't understand why Jesus would chose singleness for me. I have spent a lifetime feeling lonely and looking forward to the day that I would have someone who would love me and me only. Someone who would want to hear what I have to say. Someone who would be excited to hear my voice.

Unrealized dreams.

I have concluded that I am not enough for these gifts. Valuable enough, pretty enough, good enough.

Rather than point my life down that dark road I must turn around and head in the direction of the Light of Life.

Today I resolve to take a step in the direction of Jesus' light by reminding myself of these essential truths about my life.

1. Jesus died to save me
"For God so loved the world (bethany) that He gave his only Son that whoever (bethany) believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16

2. The Lord made me with purpose and plans
"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

3. Jesus' death bought my freedom
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us (bethany) free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

4. I am made new
"Therefore, if anyhone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come" 2 Corinthians 5:17

5. My sins are not catalogued
"As far as the east is from the west, so far does He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

6. I am a witness to others
"The righteous are like a light shining brightly..." Proverbs 13:9a

7. I am loved
"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness." Jeremiah 31:3

8. My pain is a reminder of my dependency on Jesus
"He strengthens those who are weak and tired." Isaiah 40:29

9. My life has weight and value
"For I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

10. I can change
"and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:23-24