Friday, September 25, 2009

More Beautiful You....

Love this song...just had to share!

PS. Thank you ladies for the encouragement on my last are such dears!


Little girl fourteen
flipping through a magazine
Says she wants to look that way
But her hair isn't straight her body isn't fake
And she's always felt overweight

Well little girl fourteen I wish that you could see
That beauty is within your heart
And you were made with such care your skin your body and your hair
Are perfect just the way they are

There could never be a more beautiful you
Don't buy the lies disguises and hoops they make you jump through
You were made to fill a purpose that only you could do
So there could never be a more beautiful you

Little girl twenty-one the things that you've already done
Anything to get ahead
And you say you've got a man but he's got another plan
Only wants what you will do instead

Well little girl twenty-one you never thought that this would come
You starve yourself to play the part
But I can promise you there's a man whose love is true
And he'll treat you like the jewel you are

So turn around you're not too far
To back away be who you are
To change your path go another way
It's not too late you can be saved
If you feel depressed with past regrets
The shameful nights hope to forget
Can disappear they can all be washed away
By the one who's strong can right your wrongs
Can rid your fears dry all your tears
And change the way you look at this big world
He will take your dark distorted view
And with His light He will show you truth
And again you'll see through the eyes of a little girl

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Me Today, God's Mercies Tomorrow....

I wish that I had some great idea for a new post but I just don't....this is mostly just a means to get my thoughts out.

Life has been a bit difficult lately. Family drama, relationships, and uncertainty about my future are taxing my strength, energy, patience, and joy. My emotions fluctuate between overdrive and turned off completley. Why is it that when life gets difficult, I either cleave to God more or run away from Him??? This season that I am in is marked by a running away from the Lord. Don't get me wrong...I've not lost my faith but I've just not turned to Him in complete surrender. I keep trying to run the other direction. In any direction that will give me some sense of purpose, comfort, relief, and meaning...but in the end it is those things that cause me disappoint over and over. Surrendering completely is so hard for me to do.

What exactly does total and complete surrender look like?

For me, at this stage in the is dying to myself, giving up my agenda, my plans, my desires, and submitting to the mighty hand of God.

I have fears though...fear that God's hand in my life right now will hurt in some way...Fear that due to my sin, his hand will be a hand of discipline...Lord knows that I've missed the mark oh so many times and in so many ways....I just keep falling short....

But, our God is a God of second, third, and fourth chances and I'm not unreachable. Nor is he harsh or a tyrant...He is a loving God and He does desire to see me bloom in every way that He has made me to.
I need to reach out to Him....and trust his hand. Whether it be a hand of discipline or a hand of tenderness.

Lord, help me to submit to you.... I need you.....I can't do this like this much longer...I don't want to continually fall into the pit of doing my own thing Lord, I want to bring you glory and want to die to myself. I need you in a way that I've never before...come Lord Jesus and save me from myself! I submit to you today your hand in whatever fashion that you need to touch me with...I fear discipline but I choose tonight to trust you, even in discipline. Help me to understand how you love me through your discipline...remind me that your desire is not to bring me have no malicious intent, only love!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Disturb me Lord

Disturb us, Lord, when
We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.
Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.
Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

~Sir Francis Drake

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Undressing the Dragon: Lessons from Narnia

This passage from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (Chronicles of Narnia) was used to teach at church Tuesday night. It hit me so hard and I've been contemplating it all week. Now that the weekend is here I have time to fully reflect on what I learned, document it for future reference, and share it with you all.
The back story leading up to this passage is that this boy, Eustace, is changed into a dragon and has a ring around his ankle that is hurting him terribly. He sees a pool of water and seeks relief there. So this is where the story picks up:

"So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden-trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it was a well. I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells-like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not."
"I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snakey sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that is what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and the scales started coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe."
"But just as I was going to put my foot into the water I looked down and saw that it was all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as it had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means that I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe."
"Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, however many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew that it had been no good."
"Then the lion said-but I don't know if it spoke-You will have to let me undress you. I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay down flat on my back and let him do it. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off; it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know-if you've ever picked the scab of a sore place it hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away."
"I know exactly what you mean," said Edmund.
"Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off-just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt-and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly looking than the others had been. And there was I as soft and smooth as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me-I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on-and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phony if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them. After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me-"
"Dressed you. With his paws?"
"Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes-the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here. "
(The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, C.S. Lewis. Pg 88-91)

I just love how in this passage Eustace learns that he must undress the ugliness of his top layers in order to feel true relief and freedom from the dragon in his life. But as we all know, our efforts and attempts to peel off the ugly only results in more ugliness found underneath. It is only when Eustace allows the lion (The Lion of Judah) to undress him completely and with a measure of pain that he is fully free from the ugliness of what is keeping him from being free of the dragon. I like how C.S. Lewis wrote that the only way Eustace could bear the pain of Aslan removing the skin was the pleasure of feeling the stuff peeled away. Praise you Father that there is pleasure when the layers of the onion, or in this case the skin of the dragon, are peeled away! Help me to endure the pain that accompanies the pulling away of the ugly and painful things! Bless me with the pleasure of it being gone once and for all!