Thursday, September 23, 2010

Hunger

Hunger. What does it mean to you?

Well according to Websters Dictionary it means a few different things
First:
"A craving or urgent need for food or specific nutrient"
Then:
"An uneasy sensation occasioned by the lack of food"
Next:
"A weakened condition brought about by prolonged lack of food"
And finally:
"A strong desire"

When I think of my physical body, I am very well acquainted with my "hunger". I know when I have a craving or need for food. I know when my body senses an uneasy feeling due to lack of food and I physically feel weak. When I feel this sensation I have 2 choices; ignore it and remain in hunger or attend to it and feed myself. Very rarely do I ignore it! I have a deep love for food!

What about my spirit?

Do I readily recognize hunger in my spirit?

I think that I do. I know that when I am feeling "out of sorts" it is usually due to the fact that I am malnourished spiritually. I begin to feel uneasy and weak. My stamina in my faith is diminished when I've not partaken of the sustenance from the Lord's table.

However, the next question really trips me up!

"Is His Word enough for me?"

CONVICTED!

This is a heavy thought for me. It is a convicting thought. Am I fully sustained purely and singley by the perfect and all sustaining Word of God?

Lord, how I want to be!

But the truth of the matter, is that I am not. Goodness knows that I try and try and try to fill my hunger with things of this world rather than with the Word.

Why do I do this????

Well, for starters, I have difficulty trusting the Word as God's source for me. I want to see my salvation, I want to feel my comfort, I want to hear the voice that leads me. So I search for filling in every other way that will satisfy my senses.

Lord forgive me!

I have bowed to the god of idolism. Even if I try to say that I haven't, I recognize that I have. As Isaiah proclaims "Woe is me, for I am a man of unclean lips" so too I utter this cry. Woe is me for I am a woman of an impure heart. Woe is me for I am a woman of little trust. I take heart though that even though Isaiah was a man of sinfulness, he was redeemed and allowed a vision of God's glory. It brings me comfort because as I recognize and confess my shortcomings, I too will be redeemed and changed by the vision of His glory.

Praise God that I have complete redemption in Him!

This journey through Radical so far has not been pleasant. It is uncomfortable to say the least...excruciating to be quite honest. It is forcing me to look at my face in the mirror of God's Word and decide how I will respond. Will I walk away and forever forget what I've seen or will I take what I see, ugly as it is (the state of my heart) and plead God's forgiveness. I can't bear the thought of walking away unchanged so I chose today to look at the difficult things that He is revealing to me and surrender them to Him.

I am hungry. I am blessed to have a Lord who gives me his Word for my sustenance.

3 comments:

Sandee said...

amen...for God leading us and allowing us to be hungry and allowing the other stuff not to satisfy. I too find myself going other places...a movie, a book, a craft, coffee..lol..

but again and again He brings me back to his word...and proves once again, that in it is the source of life.

Blessings on this journey....it is proving to be one of angst for me as well.

jennifergriffin said...

Great thoughts! We were just talking about that in our family worship this morning with our kiddos.
Ps. 119:97-105 " Oh how I love your law! It is my meditation all the day. Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies, for it is ever with me. I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation. I understand more than the aged, for I keep your precepts. I hold back my feet from every evil way, in order to keep your word. I do not turn aside from your rules for you have taught me. How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth! Through your precepts I get understanding; therefore I hate every false way. Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light to my path."

AMEN! Hunger for his word..that is what I want!

katiegfromtennessee said...

Bethany,

You are honest here, and your heart is being opened up to the Lord so that your faith is being refined. That is comforting to me too that He is faithful to us to show us our true estate and heal us...

katiegfromtennessee